The President approaches a shirtless Joe Biden, washing his Trans Am on the White House driveway, 'Hey Joe, wanna knock off work and have a burger?'
'Sure Barry! Whatever you say Chief and !'
'Secret service? This is your Messiah. I want the motorcade ready for a burger run, got it? None of those 'planning' excuses either!'
'Hey Gibs, get those puppies of yours rounded up, we are going on a road trip to the frontier, let's see what things are like in Hicksville, USA!'
Robert Gibbs, 'May I ask where we are going, your Excellency?'
'Sir, shouldn't we take an airplane to go to Texas?'
'There is an Arlington in, where? Texas? Fer-reel?'
'Yes Mr. President.'
'No, not that one, we are going to the one in Virginia.'
'Very good Sir, Hicksville USA, Arlington, Virginia.'
'Don't tell your press puppies that I called it that.'
'No, Hicksville, and get someone from Interior or Commerce or, um, or someone to get one of the Arlingtons to change its name. This is crazy like having more than one Springfield!'
The motorcade is assembled and the streets between the White House and Ray's Hell Burger are cleared.
The obedient press corps took their scraps of free-to-them meat and reported. They had no idea that Reason Magazine's own Nick Gillispie has been onto them for a while. Nick gave the
puppy Press Corps a few hours of breathing room and launched this salvo:
Read the rest at the link. Quite excellent.
These sorts of ultra-lame, super-calculated P.R. stunts really chap my hide. They're simply the obverse of official stories that Kim Jong-il doesn't ever go to the bathroom or that Mussolini could beat even Italian champs at tennis, clearly phony embellishments to alternately make leaders either superhuman or super-normal.
Choice comments (not in any order or context):
Xeones | May 6, 2009, 8:28am | #Yeah, Silent Cal in a headdress is kind of awesome. Barry O being all condescending about some hamburger is not. Fuck Barack Obama, yo.
Shut the fuck up, Bonnie Cosby.
I'll gladly pay you Tuesday...
whom he dismissed as "cheap dates."
That has to be related to RC's Law in some way. I mean, they are cheap dates, they spread their legs for vague promises of HOPEANDCHANGE after all, but I doubt Obama would like people to understand he's not kidding when he points it out.
But lest the liberals get their panties in a wad, this is no different than the 8,000 cut away shots of GWB clearing brush from his "ranch."
The problem isn't that they all do "commonmanisms," it's that the press reports on them with no recognition of how cynical they all are.
View White House Outing to Ray's Hell Burger in a larger map