06 June 2010

Weirdo Report

Weirdo Report


This has been an odd week. I have many of those, but this is more weirdo than most.

Last weekend I was watching the Nationwide NASCAR race with a buddy and some cool guy from Arkansas. As I was leaving, some goofy little guy shows up and has to say something snotty about NASCAR, to the only other customers in the bar watching NASCAR. I was leaving and made the quip “Great! A racing elitist arrives in a sports bar.” All of us laughed and I departed.

Fast forward a few days to Tuesday. I am outside of a different bar having a smoke and some little troll shows up smiling, calling me “Sir” and mentions the Saturday thing. “Yea, racing elitist, pretty much what I say about anybody dissing anybody else’s racing.” He shakes my hand, calls me Sir a few more times and leaves.

Thursday, I am hanging out at the place I was watching the NASCAR race days earlier and some guy walks in. Same guy, but I didn’t recognize him. He called me “Sir” some more, with a ‘fake nice’ treatment and stands right next to me. Then launches into the NASCAR elitist shit. If I wasn’t ignoring him at the moment I might remember what he said. Then he expressed an issue with the t-shirt I was wearing on Tuesday, an Israeli Defense Forces t-shirt, that he didn’t say a word about on the street on Tuesday.

“Yep, I support the IDF and Israel, our real allies.”

He launches into some shit asking me about my experience about the Middle-East, which is irrelevant, since it is my opinion based on other factors, and without allowing an answer he tells me some story about how he has been there and worked with the people there. In his opinion, the “real heroes” are the Hamas soldiers of Gaza.

“Good, fine, if you like those guys that is your deal. I don’t want to talk to you so leave me alone.”

“THE IDF ARE THE TERRORISTS!” He says.

“Look, I already know your schtick, you like hanging out in bars and saying things to argue about. I am not a fan, so go away and leave me alone.”

This idiot has to persist, to the point of my calling for a manager and him getting more and more juvenile, asking me to hit him on the chin, while I resort to yelling at him to leave me alone.

When the staff was not moving quickly enough to get this moron away from me I demanded to close out my check and they could have fun with him. The managers arrived, kicked him out and cleared my tab and I stayed for the rest of the night. Gave the bartenders the amount of my earlier bill on top of my new tab as a tip and an additional tip too.

The never-ending-story continues on the following Saturday. Watched three car races in a row and during the Nationwide race two guys come in after visiting the bar next-door. Some weird guy was there and launched into bothering them, running some bullshit about being military. Same guy! He got kicked out and banned from there too. The manager at the place we were in mentioned that since the Thursday banning there, he has had to kick the idiot out every day, his entering and asking if he can have a beer there.

So today, Sunday, I was slightly outside my neighborhood having my Rachel Corrie pancake breakfast and I walk outside for a smoke.

“Sir! Sir! I apologize for the other day!” I hear from up the street. I look and it is some little idiot in Bermuda shorts, a t-shirt and flipflops. In a moment I notice who it is, then turn and look the other way, ignoring his weird ass. He continues babbling the same shit and insists on touching me as he walks by.

No, it doesn’t end there.

I leave that place, about midpoint in the Sprint Cup NASCAR race and go to another place, where I first met this idiot. Guess who shows up? Yes, the Hamas loving “veteran” (he bragged to others that he was military of some capacity) who has issues. He asked a random waitress if it was okay for him to have a beer there, a waitress who doesn’t know him, and she said “yes.” I alerted the bartender that his favorite customer had arrived. Endless story short, they kicked his ass out again. Ever since banning him on Thursday, he has been thrown out of there every single day.

I think he is from New Mexico. Just a hunch.


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